During the beginning stage of my lifestyle changes I relied a good amount on other people to help me stay on track. I would spend a lot of time with my guy friends I had mentioned in my last post. They were so great and really supported me through this time. I had said to them “Don’t let me eat any desserts. No cookies, no candy, and no treats.” Men are incredibly literal beings. For months one of them would eat a cookie around me and I’d ask for one and they’d take pride in saying “Nope, you told us to not let you.” And then I’d ask them if I could even just smell the cookies. They took even more pride and enjoyment in telling me no. We would all laugh about it every time. It became an on going joke and I’d egg them on. But in all reality it was super helpful and it kept me on track. Looking back, I definitely think this process helped me keep a good distance from sugars long enough to break my craving and my addiction to sugars. Going froward from here avoiding sugars became easier.
I think that when we are trying to make changes and make new habits, support can be so helpful to get you going. You have a community around you for a reason. If they truly are your tribe, then they should be happy to support you in allowing you to lean on them when you’re trying to improve yourself one step at a time. A lot of times our friends won’t hold us accountable in fear that they might offend us or hurt our feelings. But when you give your people the autonomy and the permission to hold you accountable, I think that gives them the space in order to step up to the plate for you. They take pride in supporting you and helping you grow. Humans weren’t created to be alone. We do not flourish in solitude. Community is where the big changes happen. We grow, learn, and change. Life is a long and winding road. And it would be boring if we stayed the same forever and never changed. Yet change can be so scary.
Everything new is scary before you start. The unknown is a tough place to be. But almost every time you’ve taken that first step or leap of faith I bet you’ve never regretted it… or maybe you have. But I try to approach everything in my life with the mindset of everything good or bad is an opportunity to learn and grow. There is a positive spin to almost anything that can happen in your life. It is just up to you to find it.
My goal is to keep and add to my tribe, the people that will teach me something new, people that will challenge me, and people that will accept me for who I am now and welcome the changes as I grow and transform. If the people you have around you in your life give you a hard time as you are trying to better yourself, change, and grow… you might need a new tribe. The people closest to you should want the very best for you in any capacity that might be. If they are encouraging you to stay in old habits that don’t benefit you in any way, they truly aren’t your people. Your people should want the absolute best for you! And I’m here to tell you, it is okay to let those people go and find a new community – no matter how scary that may be. Because once you find them, you will be at such peace.
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